


even dead, i’m the hero

by ftmpeter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Pre-Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), apparently that’s not a tag, either way peter is just not having a good time rn, very brief implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 11:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20873150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ftmpeter/pseuds/ftmpeter
Summary: maybe peter was always meant to be breaking.





	even dead, i’m the hero

peter parker is star-crossed.

he’s felt pain before. felt broken bones and cracked ribs, black eyes and bloody noses, bruises covering more skin than not. felt hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of concrete pinning him to the ground, felt everything around him becoming ash. 

he’s felt pain before, but this is different.

this is a pain so insurmountable that it exists outside of human understanding. it clings to peter’s very being, twisting and shifting with every gasp of air he pulls in. it never leaves, never  stops, because it’s such a fundamental part of who he is and it’s screaming to be heard, to be listened to. 

tony is dead and peter is the ghost he left behind. he stumbles from place to place, alone in crowded rooms, crying in empty ones. he sleeps through days and walks through nights, watching the streets of his home through sunken eyes. he cries and crashes and collapses under the weight of it all, of the regret sinking into his bones, of the grief snuffing out any light left in his broken soul.

tony is dead and the world has never been so cold.

atoms cannot be created or destroyed. they are constantly recycled, woven into the fabric of the universe, written into the story of stars. they’ve existed for as long as existence itself, and will continue to for millennia onwards. some theorize that that’s where soulmates come from - that the atoms that make up who you are constantly struggle to be together with someone else’s, because they were with each other since the beginning.

peter thinks that’s why he feels like he’s being pushed to the edge. wherever tony goes, he follows.

maybe this is how it was meant to be. maybe he was always meant to be breaking.

maybe he was always meant to only feel alive when he’s falling.

**Author's Note:**

> i am half-awake and sad and this is what you get when you mix those two together for too long.
> 
> also the soulmate metaphor is platonic since i strongly believe soulmates outside of romantic ones exist. we don’t ship starker in this house and i will steal your kneecaps if you do


End file.
